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He can be incredibly demanding.” “What do you mean by ‘stronger,’” I asked her.“He gets me to doubting myself, with my mind spinning in circles,” she said sadly. “It sure feels like he’s punishing me.” SEE ALSO: How to Avoid Getting Hooked by a Crazy Maker “Please explain,” I said.“I love Cal, but he punishes me when I don’t agree with him.” “Whoa,” I said, shocked by her admission. “A man who sets out to punish you because you disagree with him is pretty serious business.” “I’m not even sure how to describe it,” Kate continued. I feel too close to it to even tell you what he is doing.” “Please try,” I persisted.“Just list some of the things he does.” “Okay,” Kate said.Whether in the course of business or over friendly lunches, enduring relationships develop in most workplaces. The professional atmosphere of most workplaces makes emotional expression unacceptable.And within relationships, passive-aggression can occur. Yet, even in a formal business environment, emotions stir over any number of things—workload, “the big deal,” promotions, respect, and other very personal issues that touch upon an individual’s self-worth.

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Compliant defiance of workplace standards mixed with hostile cooperation among workers makes for an unpleasant office atmosphere at best, and utter sabotage of productivity at worst.“He really makes me angry,” Kate said to me during a recent counseling session.

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